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"The Fotley Mule" Here's our tribute to all those who take life and the markets too seriously. This page is dedicated to the biggest Fools on Wall Street and
features our collection of the best humor concerning stocks, investing, Wall
Street, money, and everything else funny. |
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The Daily Funnies |
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| In light of the
rising frequency of human/grizzly bear encounters, the Alaska Department
of Fish and Game has issued the following advisory to hikers, hunters,
and fishermen while in the field:
It is strongly advised that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle grizzly bears that aren't expecting outdoorsmen to be walking in their habitat. It is also strongly advised that outdoorsmen carry non-lethal pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a grizzly. The Department of Natural Resources for Alaska states it is a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should be able to recognize the difference between black bear poop and grizzly bear poop:
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"A lighthearted
look at today's market action" |
| Helium was up,
feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights fell in heavy trading. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remain unchanged. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. The market for raisins dried up. Coca Cola fizzled. Caterpillar Stock inched up a bit. Sun peaked at midday. Balloon prices were inflated. Scott Tissue touched a new bottom. And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market. |
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| The top 13 things
overheard by bullish analysts during a recent sell-off:
13) Medic! 12) Stocks are now undervalued between 10% and 13%. 11) If we wouldn't have advised clients to buy aggressively at 8,800 and 8,500 we would have advised to them to buy at 8,200. 10) Hey, at least it isn't as bad as Russia! 9) There is no fundamental reason for this decline. 8) It's all Osama bin Laden's fault. 7) This decline means nothing to the long term investor. Eventually your stocks will go up again. You may not live to see it, but they will go up again eventually. 6) Investors without time horizons of 25 or 30 years shouldn't be in the market anyway. 5) Okay, 8165 is really, really the bottom this time. Forget about all that talk about 8,300. 4) Small investors are nonplused about the decline and are in the market for the long run. This is good because I can continue to unload all off my stocks at good prices. 3) Where is that darn Plunge Protection Team when you need them? 2) All right, fess up! Who woke up the Bear? 1) "...I still see the Dow at 10,000 by year-end." |
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